It seems everyone has babies on the brain. They've definitely been on my mind lately. My sister had a new baby 2 weeks ago, and that little Ari is a doll! But seriously, I have been asked probably 5 times lately when I was going to have a baby. Let me explain...
I was asked in a polite and acceptable manner by a woman I know if I thought I might want to have children one day. This question does not bother me at all. I replied and said "maybe one day, but who knows. I work a lot and so does my husband so the time will have to work out for us." She replied "oh, so you would want to continue to work if you had a kid?" Uh, yeah. I have a great job, which I happen to love. Please note that she did not ask if my husband would want to continue to work. Just me. Gender stereotypes make me want to scream. If you choose to not work outside the home after you have a child then good on ya. My mother did not work outside the home, and I think I am better for it. But, women who continue to work outside the home are OK, too.
I was asked by a woman who works with me when I was going to have children. This question really doesn't bother me much. It does assume that I want children, but most people want children so it's not too bad. I said something like "I don't know. I'm pretty happy with my life the way it is." It still throws me, though. I am happy with my life the way it is. I like to travel, sleep in, stay out late, eat dinner out, drink too much wine, watch TV uninterrupted, exercise, etc. I know good and well that I won't be able to do those things nearly as often as I do now if I have children. I'm not sure I'm ready give that up. I do want kids, but I'm not sure when. And that's OK with me.
I told a good friend that I had something to tell her. She said, "You're pregnant!" This bothers me a lot. Probably because it happens to me so often. Anytime I start a sentence with "guess what" or "I have news" it is followed with "you're pregnant!" News flash, I have other things going on in my life that warrant excitement. When did I become old news to my friends.
My husband and I live about 3.5 hours away from our families. He works odd hours (nights, weekends, holidays) so we do not get to go visit them often. Randomly last summer, he had 2 weekends in a row off. We decided to go visit our families both weekends. Who knew when we'd see them next? A dear friend found out and told a mutual close friend she thought the reason we were visiting 2 consecutive weekends was because I was pregnant. Who thinks that way?! Luckily, the mutual friend saw the absurdity and set her straight.
I guess I just feel like when Kris and I choose to have a baby is our business. I know people don't intend to be nosey, but sometimes I want to say "NEVER!" just to get people to back off. Don't worry, I haven't actually done that. The hardest part is that my husband does not seem to understand why this bothers me so much. He's much more "go with the flow" than I am. Seriously, I don't think anything bothers him. I feel like guys don't have the pressure on them that women do to have children. It's like just being yourself is not enough. Which is so weird to me because I feel like I'm enough. I feel like if this is as good as it ever gets then I am 100% happy and so thankful for how much God has blessed me. Not to burden you with this, but I know my readership is predominantly, if not 100%, female so I feel like you guys will get where I'm coming from.
I in no way mean this as a slight towards women who choose to be mothers, stay-at-home, outside-the-home, or otherwise. I also hope this doesn't come off too harsh. I do not mean it that way. I admire mothers. I hope to be one some day. All I'm saying is my life is full and interesting so it isn't something I feel like I have to do right this second. I am open to the fact that my mind may change in 2 weeks, 2 months, 2 years, or at some other point in the future. Hell, it could change tonight. Who knows? But until it does, I'm happy with my husband and my dogs. I love our little family, and I think it's just perfect the way it is.