Thursday, February 21, 2013

Can I be honest?

Do you remember when I told you all that I was running in the Knoxville Half-Marathon? You can read that story here.

Well, I need to be honest.

I hate running.

OK, that's not entirely true. What I really hate is training.

I started training for this half-marathon back in September. For the first couple of months, I loved it! It felt so good to be back outside and running again. Then sometime in mid-November, I started feeling like I was a slave to the treadmill.

I would find every excuse under the sun not to go to the gym. I would "forget" my workout clothes pretty much every day. Running just wasn't fun the way it had been in September and October. Plus, running so much meant I didn't have time to go to barre. Which I love, so I felt even worse and more resentful.

This happened to me with the last half-marathon I ran. I pushed through it, but I've never felt the same about running since. I thought by forcing myself back into running that I would discover how much I loved it. Now, I think I hate it more than ever. Which makes me so sad.

In December I talked to a friend about how I felt. She asked me why I felt like I needed to keep training for this half-marathon that was making me so miserable. I told her I needed to keep going because I had announced on the blog that I was doing it, and I just couldn't let anyone down. Plus, I told Kris I would do it, and I didn't want him to think I was a quitter. She told me I sounded crazy, and that I had to be true to myself and what makes me happy. To hell with what everyone else thinks.

I thought more about it and how right she was about the whole thing. This is my life, and I'll exercise how I want to. So, I guess what I'm trying to say is,

I'm a quitter.

Sorry folks, I will not be running the Knoxville Half-Marathon. I will, however, be rekindling my romance with my beloved barre. I'll also be doing tons of walking and jogging that in no way relate to training for anything.

Life is just too short to do things that make you miserable. Don't you agree?

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2 comments:

  1. honey please. If you love barre do that! No one said you have to be a runner! I'll love you either way.

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  2. It happens to me. And I think I tend to be a quitter all the time. I love yoga, and I tried a ten-days consecutive introductory pass, then I fell in love with it. I wanted to sign up for a new membership because I was excited about something new, forgot about running, forgot about training, and then I hated it. And I hate the feeling blah about everything else I just want to quit, be a sloth, then start again. Why is it so hard? :(

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