Monday, May 27, 2013

Before Someone Gets Hurt

I've gotten quite a few new readers as of late, and before we commit to a long-term relationship, there are a few things you should know about me.

I do not have the kind of skin or hair that looks Victoria's Secret model fab when I roll out of bed. If you want to do something with me or hang out, you're going to have to give me a heads up. Girlfriend needs some time.

I watch a lot of TV. If you hear me say, "I can't. I have plans," there is a good chance those "plans" are to sit on my couch and watch TV. For that, I will never apologize.

I'm a wine snob. I believe boxes should be filled with gifts, not wine.

I'm not too good for Target.

I am not a foodie. As much as I love wine, I don't eat fancy, elaborate meals on the reg. I'm more of a cereal and sandwich kind of girl.

I'm very excitable. My husband calls it dramatic; I call it full of life. Most of my sentences begin with "Oh my god, guess what?!"

I might die of diet coke poisoning one day. Be sure to tell the medical examiner to check for that.

I treat my dogs like humans. To be honest, they're cooler than most people I know. Including me.

So, there you have it. I just thought I should be upfront about who I am. If you can't handle it; it's best we end things now before someone gets hurt.



  1. "I believe boxes should be filled with gifts, not wine." Love it! This is so true for me too, Franzia is not wine. And should not even be called wine. Hilarious post!


  2. I adore this post and agree with you on so many things. Especially the I'm busy part. I would much rather stay in and hang instead of going out. Does that make me old? Sometimes I fear it does!
    Love your sense of humor lady!

  3. Thank you for telling me in advance! JK. There's nothing wrong with fur babies. My kids call our cat their "Sister."